Monday, April 25, 2011

Little J's Nighttime Adventures

This is how my and my hubby feel right now, although he is sleeping and I am awake.
 Oh how I wish I could be doing this:

I secretly believe that Little J is tired too, she is much too whiny for my good lately. I am so not used to this, Big J thankfully was sleeping through the night at 6 months and was never really grumpy when she got teeth. Little J on the other hand cries a lot and wakes a lot at night, still at 14 months.

This was last night's adventure:

  • Put Little J down to bed at 7:30 pm
  • Here crying around 9:30 pm - Hubby goes to soothe her
  • More crying at 10:30 pm - I soothe this time
  • We head to bed shortly after 11:00 pm
A little information: Since we are both out of work and the nights can be so crazy we take turns. So last night my Hubby had night duty, meaning he had to get up with the kids when needed and I had morning  duty which means I am up with the girls this morning. 
  • Crying at 12:30 am - Hubby heads in to soothe again
  • Crying at 2:00 am - Hubby heads in again
  • Crying at 4:00 am - Same old same old
  • Big J then comes in at 4:30 saying she had a nightmare. Now if she actually is upset then we let her stay, however many times she just says that to get in our bed which is not big enough for three.  
  • Crying again at 5:00 am - I roll over but no hubby and yet crying continues.  I get up and find hubby in Big J's bed. Crying stops so I lay back down and crying starts again. I head off to make a bottle (yes she is still stuck on bottles, something else new to me) and the crying stops. I lay down again and the crying starts but I can hear Hubby heading in. 
  • I decide now is a good time to get Big J settled so Hubby can come back into our bed. Find out her nightmare was about being poked by a porcupine. Yup not sure where that came from.  Then she starts crying saying she misses us. (Mind you we are together all day long!) So I settle her down and tell her that we will not be sleeping in her room and no she cannot come into our room. 
  • I end up bringing the bottle into Little J and the hubby which of course means she wants me and I end up feeding her. 
  • Head back to bed and the snoring begins! Poor Hubby is on some medication that makes him sleep deep which means snoring. So I head to the couch. It is now about 6:30 am and I am praying to God that she sleeps until 8:00 am.
  • Little J cries out at about 7:45 am and I pray to God to give me some more sleep. Which works because she is not up until 8:45 am. 
So this has been going on for a long time now and I am not sure if the lack of sleep is because she is teething and if so will it end soon?????

I miss this (Little J)

 And this (Little J)

 Anyone else going through this lack of sleep drama? Any advice and does it ever end???

Sunday, April 24, 2011

Happy Easter

 Little J's first Easter basket. (and now I notice that my finger was in the way when I took the picture with my iPhone. Oops)

 Bunny Marshmallows

 Skittle Jelly Beans

 A book

 Look Daddy Skittles

 Chocolate Bunny

Sneaky Easter Bunny hiding eggs

Friday, April 15, 2011

You are missed Stephanie Derr

(My MIL, Big J the day she was born and my Step-daughter)

Today marks the two year mark since my MIL passes away from Ovarian cancer. She was the most wonderful person I have ever know and I feel so cheated that I only knew her for 4 years. There was still so much I wanted to learn from her and so much that I wanted her to pass on to my children. She never even met Little J!

A remarkable woman who loved me for who I was and yet still pushed me to be the best person I could be.   Even when she was sick from cemo she still drove from Shelby, NC to Myrtle Beach, SC to be with me when I delivered Big J. She was in the hospital the whole time even though she was tired and not feeling good, she even stayed a couple days afterwards to help me out.

I have learned from this that life is just not fair and cancer is one of the most evil things in the world.

Mom - You are missed more then you will even know, I know you are up in heaven painting it blue, then green, then stripes and back to blue again. I love you so much!  (My MIL was always changing the house around and her favorite color was blue, which she usually ended up with!)

"You are creatures of light. From light you have come, to light you shall go, and surrounding you through every step is the light of your infinite being." ~Richard Bach, One: A Novel

"There's no disaster that can't become a blessing, and no blessing that can't become a disaster." ~Richard Bach, One: A Novel

"We're the bridge across forever, arching above the sea, adventuring for our pleasure, living mysteries for the fun of it, choosing disasters triumphs challenges impossible offs, testing ourselves over and over again, learning love and love and LOVE!" ~ Richard Bach, The Bridge Across Forever

My week and then some

So as you may know I have been out of work for 7 weeks now.  Wow it has been 7 weeks already? Where did the time go?

So my days have been filled with children, painting the house (we have been collecting paint, shelves, etc for awhile and now have the time to do it all) and searching for a job. The past couple weeks have actually been more focused on finding a job since I have a couple recruitment/temp agencies helping me. Which means interviews with them and so far one interview with a company. (This is actually my third interview since I lost my job).

I am exhausted though which is why I have not been posting lately. My husband is on a new medication and it makes him sleep so deep, which means he snores all night long! Great for him, not so great for me. Add in that Little J still gets up anywhere from 1-5 times a night and Mommy is not getting much sleep at all. Last night I was up until 2ish and then up at 7:15. Right now I am counting the minutes until hubby wakes up so I can crawl into bed again for a nap!

Stress is also a big factor, I am worried about money and how we are going to continue paying our bills. We were lucky that when my mom was here at the beginning of the month she gave us money for bills, bought the girls some clothes and me a suit. THANKS MOM!!! Thankfully we get food stamps and medicaid for the girls, however right now Little J's medicaid was cancelled and the case worker has a month to reinstate it. I so hate dealing with the case worker. I know that they are busy and have a lot of work for little pay but she never returns my calls and seems to have no concern for me or my family. Why be a social worker then???

Ok I am ending this post now since I am just babbling on, I really need some sleep!

More School Photos!!

Here are the rest of the school photos

Little J was not really impressed at this whole procedure.  

Big J was grumpy until the clicking started.  

When my Mom was here we stopped for Easter Bunny pictures. Little J is mad because I took her Wub-a-Nub (Binky/Pacifier) away. 

Thursday, April 7, 2011

I have been un-friended

Ok so I admit it has happened before, but usually quietly and from people who I have not seen nor heard from outside Facebook (and sometimes not even on Facebook) for many years. One day you are friended and then next you are not. Sadly many times it took me forever to even realize that it had happened and then I did not really care. Until last night.

So my step-daughter had been having issues with my husband and I have suspected with me for a long time now. We have not seen her in almost a year and that was for one day and it had been a year since the last visit.  (Long story involving a teenager and the evil ex-wife. Yes I know they are not all evil but the one I have to deal with is.)

Anyway since Facebook is the only way we have to contact my step-daughter (she un-friended her father awhile ago and calling her is a complicated situation. I am not allowed) I always reach out every few weeks to see how she is. Always me and never her, but she is a teenager after all. So I sent an e-mail Monday and waited and waited until Wednesday night. Not usual for her to ignore me. So I posted on her FB wall asking if she was ignoring me intentionally.  I noticed a couple hours later that it was deleted but still no response from her. (Mind you I know she was online Monday, Tuesday and Wednesday) So I wrote I will take that as a yes. That was then deleted as well with still no response from her. Well I wrote ok fine delete me on her wall and sent her another e-mail asking what her problem was. I am not one to take crap from my children, which I have considered her for over 6 years. She then e-mailed me all mad that I would write on her wall just because she did not respond fast enough. That I was immature and then came the un-friend.

So last night I was angry and I will admit it hurt like hell. Here is a kid that I took into my heart and life and helped in every way I could. I know she is a teenager but I also know her and this is not like her at all. I am so angry, this is the only way we have of contacting her and now she has decided to cut it off. The other times I could blame her mother but this time it is on her. I am also angry because poor Big J misses her sister so much and what can I say? Before it was easy to blame her sister's mother but now how do I tell her that her sister does not want to see her? Thankfully Little J does not understand anything and hopefully never will.

Ok I guess I am still very angry and hurt. I know everyone will say that she is a teenager and it will get better but I am not one for people acting like this and she is just not like this or at least she was not. I guess she is more like her mother then I knew and now her mother has one.

I am ready to purge my heart.

Tuesday, April 5, 2011

School Photos!!

So we got our school pictures today! (Well daycare pictures) Thanks to our Nana for purchasing them for us, since I was laid off right before they were taken. We got a couple prints and then the cd's so that we can  purchase more later.

 Big J all ready to graduate from her daycare program

 The kept asking Big J to kiss Little J but she kept kissing her too fast and they could not take the photo!

 My beautiful Little J

More to come later of Big J and both girls, but I am having trouble with the disks. 

Monday, April 4, 2011

Eden Fantasys - Adult Content

Note: This is an adult only post and all links in this post will take you to an adult's only website. Even though this is a family friendly blog I understand that sex is important in a mother's life. When mommy is happy then the family is happy.

With a 4 year old and a 1 year old life can be crazy and many times our love life takes a back seat to the rest of life's challenges. This has been especially true now that the girls are home all the time. (We pulled them out of daycare since I lost my job). This means that finding alone time is very difficult, especially when we are so exhausted at night that we just want to relax and sleep.

Cue Eden Fantasys and there great selection of items for the love area of your life. I have received two different items from them in the past, a game and a vibrator and have not been disappointed. Next up we are looking into a little material to help get in the mood since time is short around here lately. I know that I can find what I want at Eden Fantasys and it will arrive discreetly which is very important since many times are packages are left at the apartment office! 

Some great features about Eden Fantasys:

Great feature # 1: Eden Fantasys has something for everyone. They have games, toys, oils, books, DVDs, lingerie and even items for your wilder side. If you are looking for something for your love life this is the place.

Great feature #2: Discretion. Now I have purchased items in the past and my biggest concern was if my neighbors, mailman and apartment office would be privy to my private life. With Eden Fantasys there is no need to worry; I actually did not know what my first item was until I opened it! 

Great feature #3: Fast shipping. One of the other reasons besides the plain packaging that I did not realize what my package was is that it came very fast. People who know me know that I have very little patience so if I thought it was fast then it was. 

If you are looking to connect with your husband more check out Eden Fantasys 

I wrote this post in order to receive a gift certificate from Eden Fantasys. All opinions expressed are my own and 100% honest.