Sunday, January 2, 2011

Want to go home

Does anyone else have family that well, just sucks? Here for a week, have not seen my brothers in a looong time, one in over a year and the other even longer and yet they still have no desire to see me. Yeah they spend the necessary minutes to not look like asses (and to meet Jorja) but part of me just wishes they would stay away.

I do not care if you do not agree with my choices in life, it is mine to do as I please and never have I asked you for help or for your opinion so I wish they would just shove it. One has basically told me he wants nothing to do with me and then acts like I am barely in the room and the other just ignores me all the time and visits when he has to. Both act like they are better then me and everyone else.

My mind screams, screw them! Who cares! I do not need them in my life! and yet my heart still hurts. Am I that terrible a person? Have I screwed up so bad in their eyes that I am not worth it any longer? And lastly what gives them the right? Who made them Mr. Perfect 1 and Mr. Perfect 2? Sometimes I just want to e-mail them and tell them how much they suck, other times I just crack jokes about the black sheep club that I am president of on Facebook (One of these days I just might create one).

Really I just want to be back home with my husband living my black sheep life! That is where I belong and screw everyone else!

I apologize if I offended anyone with my language or mood. I am stressed out and sleep deprived and I miss my husband so much! Did I mention I still have 6 days until we fly home???

1 comment:

  1. Yes, yes I do. I feel very much "black sheepish" myself, in my family AND my husband's family. Your heart hurts because you are a good person, but then you do have to say screw them because it is truly unacceptable for ANYONE to treat you that way....but then you say I forgive them and then let go because they do not DESERVE to be able to "get to you" because of how THEY perceive the world/life/you. You are only accountable to God, yourself, your husband and your children and NO ONE else matters, not even family/parents/siblings/etc. I hope you find peace in your heart and head in the next few days and I hope they fly by so you can be home in an environment of love with the people whom love you most! *hug*